Jokes aside, when I heard this I thought it was a pretty absurd idea and laughed about it for the next four years. It seemed as ridiculous as making a trail of rose pedals leading to a bedroom decorated with scented candles in order to get laid. I found out later on that even this wasn’t uncommon, but our friend who pulled it off will remain anonymous because some say he is solely responsible for making sure the economy is running smoothly. Here's a random picture:
Fast forward some odd years. Anyone that has lived with me or knows me well enough knows that I have a strange collection of music. I’m by no means musically inclined or knowledgeable about music in any way, and my library is far short of extensive. But as I was thinking about Dike Menegri and his mood setters today it donned on me that I could actually come up with a pretty decent list of mood setters myself. So here’s my 2011 Mood Setters Playlist That I Would Never Make Under Normal Circumstances But I Am Here For Your Listening (possibly fornicating) Pleasures:
1. The Seed 2.0 by The Roots. The only reason this makes the list is because it’s about knocking girls up and girls love it. It’s just amusing for me to think that girls listen to it while thinking about how badly they would like to get impregnated.
2. Pussy Galore by The Roots. We are now in more comfortable mood setter territory. Pussy Galore has everything a mood setter should have, a female back up vocalist with an attractive voice and a story about a medical student that pays her tuition by being a stripper. It also doubles as a metaphor for the unfairly high college tuition hikes every year in America, but not really.
3. You Are My Angel by Horace Andy. Every time Horace Andy is played, an angel gets its wings, Dick Cheney has a heart attack, and someone from Indiana dies in a horrific car accident. Good things happen. The man’s voice is mind-bogglingly smooth. I will go short of guaranteeing you v-jay play with this song because I only listen to it exclusively when I sob to myself in public stalls.
4. Self Hate Bad Dub by Atmosphere. There’s something about the sample used in the instrumental of this song that makes it an aphrodisiac. One time this song came on in my car while I was driving and my friend spontaneously started giving me an old-fashioned. Which was cool because it would have been weird if I got a blow-job from a guy.
5. I’ve Been Thinking by Handsome Boy Modeling School. Cat Powers and I actually wrote this song together one summer night on the banks of the Seine River in Montparnasse, so there’s some history there. Feelings aside, the song glides beautifully for the better part of five minutes. It also goes well with a rainy day and of course, scolding hot tea, but save your monocles.
6. Maggot Brain by Parliament. Not much to say about this jingle, just ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh . . .
7. Dreamworld by Robin Thicke. Robin Thicke is a successful black R&B artist trapped inside the body of a white trust-fund baby. His lyrics drip from your respective music player onto your fingertips and settle in the remote crevices of your lover’s sex apparatus.
That short list should be enough to preside over your filthy sin sessions for the next eight years. Here are some other songs that I like but didn’t make the cut for one reason or the other. The Honorable Mentions:
1. Woman Tonight by Felt
2. Shahdaroba by Roy Orbison
3. Sea of Love by Tom Waits
4. Obnoxious by Immortal Technique
5. Pat Tobin by Jack Likes Zazz
6. Zoo Zoo by Bisquit
7. Somebody to Love by Jim Carrey
I'd like to take this space to thank Liam Setzkelly, my copy editor, for his contributions to this entry. Without him this one would not have been possible, so if you enjoyed it make sure you tell him you appreciate his hard work.
No comments:
Post a Comment